#What Is Success?

Why do we feel free to choose, to live how we want, be who we want to be?

One week you are busy with work, the next you are not and that pushes you towards being the person you’ve always wanted to be. Unfortunately we need money to live and therefore need a job and therefore choice is irrelevant, unless you are the lucky few making lots of money from a job you love.

I chose to work six days a week, four different jobs, for a year. One, to make money and two to give me a purpose.

I am a mother & a wife, I already have a purpose, but somehow not contributing to household coffers makes me feel less important, less able. I already feel societies eye watching to see if I will redeem myself by working like a dog again, never to attempt a new life of creativity & enjoyment.

  When did society turn. Having a good job and providing for the ones you love used to mean more than the job title. Now you are defined by your job and that makes it easier for Joe Blogs to categorize you without talking to you first.

I’m a drum teacher currently teaching people with disabilities, I have my own cleaning business to work out some energy and I used to work in two cafes. I was busy near enough 8hrs a day 6 days a week. I am now teaching and cleaning 4hrs a week. It’s killing me taking time off but I have reached a point in my life to either:- write, perform my songs, teach drums, write my stories & poetry with aim to getting published, no immediate financial gain but fulfillment on a deeper level, or clean quickly, teach & try to squeeze everything else into a short period of time, making money but not fulfilling my creative need.

 Not having a career is hard for me to sit with, on the other hand it means I am not in the systemic ‘work/life balance struggle’ and for that I am thankful. My mind is having trouble concentrating and I seem to have a desire to do lots of things in my day, then get overwhelmed by my array of interests that I do not know where to start. And I am only in week 4!

 People that are out of work and have a strong desire to be part of the workforce must struggle on a daily basis. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to get out of bed and feel motivated if there has been no work for months and no alternative found.

 The fact of the matter is, society has turned us into to drones keeping us busy 9 to 5 (longer in most cases) to pay our bills, the house, the car, clothes, schooling, taxes and that little ray of hop, a holiday!

All these things we would happily pay for if we were able to make a choice in our career and not be judged by our choices if one is less profitable than another, instead your choice is irrelevant and money is the dictator.

 I am lucky as I have a husband that earns enough for the family and my ‘jobs’ seemed to pay for the fun things. I am also lucky as I have a couple of skills and talents to get me more work, but I’m scared to go with my gut as it’s all new and picking one that makes me feel like successful.

 So everyday for the last 4 weeks I have questioned myself, my skills, my motherliness, my wifelyness (I know it’s not a word, but it fits) my worthiness. 

 And my conclusion is, I am good, intelligent, hard working, creative, inspiring, innovative, appreciative, loving, forgiving, damn good fun, great drummer alright singer, getting there guitar player and all round nice person, but it takes a lot of effort to repeat that to yourself daily and feel happy, when society puts income first as a measure of success.

 Have you ever thought about the layout of a government questionnaire? Income is generally the third question after Gender, Country/State. That’s how much your government respects you as a human being. 

 Our measure of a successful person needs to change if we are to give people the hope and respect they deserve!